on top 100...

If you are anything like me, there have been times in life, when you’ve doubted yourself. When you’ve looked in the mirror, and did not find yourself attractive. When you’ve hated your clothing, every piece of it. When every shoe in your closet, was either ugly, or hurt your feet. When you did not like your smile, or your eyes. When you’ve hated the path of life that you’ve taken. When you’ve loved, but disliked, your family or friends, and could not think of one special person in your world. When the you’ve hated the sofa you selected that you’ve just bought…the one that you’ve saved money for, for over six months! When you’ve hated every song on the radio, or every movie that was showing in the theatres.  In times like the one’s listed above, you need to refer to your “top 100” list. A “top 100” list is a list of 100 things that you like about, none other than….YOU! This is a list compiled of a little bit of everything. My list includes everything from people that I love in my life, to my favorite soda, to the love that I have for my creative hands. This is a list that I refer, from time to time, when I cannot think of even ONE thing that I like about me. When feeling down, I take a look at this list, and by item number 3 I’m smiling, and by item number 50, I’m laughing, and no longer down or depressed! Oh, and have I mentioned that my list was compiled under a time constraint?....YUP, ten minutes! This way, I did not have a lot of time to think over my list, or second guess my “top 100”. The thing is, if we give ourselves too much time to think things through, we can always find a way to talk ourselves out of the task at hand. Quick thinking and acting, with things right off the top of our heads, tend to be the most honest and precise answers to the questions of life! So what would be in your “top 100”?

Today’s activity: create a “top 100” list

Today I encourage you to grab a piece of paper, and a writing instrument, sit down in a comfy chair, and get ready to work fast. Number the paper from 1 to 100, and get ready to rock and roll. Without thinking too much, and not worrying about any proper order, quickly write down 100 things, physical, spiritual, mental, or material, that you like about YOU! This list can include people, food, music, color, clothing, flowers, etc…just about anything. Oh, and you may have think I’ve forgotten, but I have not…don’t forget to grab that egg timer, and set it for ten minutes. You may find that things get a bit difficult between items 50 and 70, but once you pass item 75 you are in the home stretch! This exercise is fun and rewarding. You will find yourself smiling and laughing as your write the list, then as time goes on, and you are feeling low, you can always refer to your “top 100” as a great pick me up! Go, have fun, and list….

on the porch...

Im sure you’ve all heard the saying: “if you can’t hang with the big dogs, then you better stay on the porch”. But let me ask you, do you really want to be the dog left on the porch? I think NOT! Why would you want to be the one to stay home, or not hang out with family or friends, due to some made up insecurity? I don’t. However, it wasn’t always that way. Many years ago, I can remember talking to a friend of mine, expressing the dislike I had, and often still have, about parts of my physical body. I was chatting about how these certain parts, often prohibit me from wearing certain kinds of clothing, and even keep me from doing certain activities, like going to the beach, for instance. I was feeling really insecure, and while I don’t remember for sure, Im pretty sure that tears rolled down my face as I expressed my insecurities to my friend. It was at that point that he looked at me and asked me….”Michelle, if a young child, let’s say your daughter Emily, said she did not want to go to the beach, with her friends, because she did not like certain parts of her body, what would you say?” My response…”that is crazy, I would NEVER, EVER want Emily to stay behind, and not go out, due to some part of her body”.  And there you have it…”if you can’t hang with the big dogs, then you better stay on the porch”…but do we want to? It was at that time that I realized by worrying or obsessing about some flaw, that I made up, I was only hurting myself. None of my true family, friends, or loved ones, really care what I look like on the outside, because they already knew the real person inside. In addition, if any person that I may have run into while out, were to judge me, who really cares?! Chances are, this person, or people, are no counts in my life, and the likelihood of me ever seeing them again is pretty darn slim. I would never, ever, ever want my child, dear friend or family member, to stay behind, so why would I want that for me? Even in the most threatening circumstances I really try and put myself out into the world. In a lot of situations I am a very shy person, however, as Ive gotten older, or grown up, I really try and force myself past the shyness, and into the world. In the end, I typically find that I am really happy that I forced myself into the world, and entered into new adventures.

Today’s activity: to stay on the porch or NOT

Today I encourage you to access your personality, and personal characteristics, and decide if you are, or ever have been the person to stay on the porch. Has there ever been a time in your life, when you’ve opted to stay home, or not participate because of personal insecurities? Are you holding onto any regrets due to insecurities? Have you stayed on the porch far too many times? If you have answered “Yes” to any or all of these questions, I invite you to get off the porch, and go out and play! Who cares what the general public may think or if anyone may or may not pass judgment on you? Why would you ever want any  person, especially a stranger, to prohibit you from diving into the many adventures of life? Im not going to lie, it may be difficult, at first, to let judgment and insecurity fall by the wayside, but the more your face your insecurities, the easier it will be. Remember we talked about baby steps? Go, do, be…conquer! xo

on senses...

The other day I was tuned into the evening news, when a segment came on about an art exhibit in New York City. The exhibit was all about touch, something that is very different than what we would typically used to at an art exhibit. In this particular exhibit, the “please do not touch” signs were not posted, because this exhibit was specifically designed for the blind, or visually impaired. The exhibit seemed to be a fascinating one, with people touching the textiles, the dimensional paint, and the sculpture. Although the visitors were not able to see, they were able to create their interpretation of the art, by touching every inch of the work of art. This exhibit got me thinking about how much I value the gift of sight. From time to time I think about what it might be to experience life, if I could not see. I have to admit, the thought of it terrifies me. I am such a fan of the sun, and the flowers, and color, and life in general, I would be heartbroken if I could not see the, truly see, every beautiful object, thing, flower, and morsel of life. Even today, a gloomy day in the Midwest, but I look out my window and I smile to see the branches of the trees moving back and forth. Or what if I were not able to see my daughters beautiful blue eyes? Or what if I were not able to select and mix the perfect toss pillows for my sofa, coordinating the colors, patterns, and textiles just so? My senses are something I probably take for granted far too often, but when I think about how much I value them, I really freak myself out. Besides the gift of sight, I am equally grateful for the gift of touch, smell, sound, and taste. Sure we can make it through life without one or all of the senses, but I bask in the joy of having my senses. I love the thought of being about to see the art on the wall, and feel the touch of the paint, and smell the scent of the oil, and hearing the background music in the art gallery, and well, if I really wanted to lick the paint, I’m sure the paint would taste a bit like oil, as well! The bottom line is, our senses are so very important to us. I feel like I learned so much about them in elementary school, but as I have grown and aged, I seem to take them for granted. From catching a glimpse of the art exhibit for the visually impaired, my eyes have really been opened, no pun intended, to how much I value my fave five!

Today’s activity: your 5 senses

Today I encourage you to take note of your five senses. Maybe your senses are something you have taken for granted or not thought about since the second grade. Whatever the case may be, think about your fave five today, and acknowledge them as you walk through your day. Take in the smell of the first pot of coffee being brewed. Is the sun shining today, and is it being clouded over by some wonderful puffy clouds? How does that hamburger taste? Mmm, pretend it’s the first one you’ve ever indulged in! How do you feel when you hear your favorite song come on the radio? Feel like dancing and singing, don’t you? Finally, think about the softness of your skin, or comfort you feel when snuggled up under your favorite blanket on a cold evening. Our senses make our lives a little bit brighter, and a little bit sweeter, a little more indulgent. Savor your senses like it is your first, or last day, of life! 

                  

on integrity...

The art of living whole, and in entirety; the art of living with integrity is not often an easy thing to do. While our intentions are typically good, the devil on our shoulder can get in the way of our wholeness, from time to time. Things like stress, overwhelm, irritability can all get in the way of us doing our personal best all of the time. While coming short of living in wholeness is often frowned upon, we must keep in mind that we are all human, and we all make mistakes. We are never perfect, all of the time, if ever at all. The important thing is that when we fall short of living in wholeness, we must acknowledge our frustration, and get back up on the integrity wagon, and move on. We must try not to hold grudges or let outside circumstances and events get in the way of us living, doing, and acting to our fullest potential. I know for me this is not always easy. For example, in my work environment, living in wholeness is not always easy. I work in a very fast paced environment, with the public, and in a job where I constantly have to be “on”; happy and present minded. Every now and then a coworker or a customer is bound to upset me. While I try to not take the situation personally, it is often easier said than done. The worst thing I can do in situation like this is spout off my mouth, and say something I might regret at a later time. I may be so angry or hurt in the moment, but I really have to bite my tongue. Why you might ask?....because as soon as I shout off my mouth, or show any signs of frustration, someone is sure to see me, and there goes my integrity right down the drain! I strive to be upbeat, and create a positive environment in each and every situation in my life. I know it is completely unrealistic to be happy and positive 100% of the time, but I really try. I try to only do my personal best, and let all other negativity, and energy draining people or circumstances fall to the wayside. I think so much can be said for professionalism and personal integrity…kind of like a little sprinkle of “class” in the sundae of life!

Today’s activity: integrity

By definition: adherence to moral or ethical principles; the state of being whole

Today I encourage you to live in wholeness; to live through the eyes of integrity. Try to remain aware of the situations that you encounter throughout this day, and how you might react to the situations. Rather than getting lost in anger with the clerk at the market, or the person who cuts you off at the intersection, acknowledge your frustration in that moment, and get back on the integrity wagon. It is not worth holding a grudge or living through the eyes of frustration, because ultimately you are only sacrificing your personal happiness. Personally I want to be known as, and remembered as, a person of wholeness, rather than a hot head who shot off her mouth, or lost her temper at any given time. The choice is yours….wholeness or half-wholeness!

on disappointment...

It’s ironic that I love life so much, and I am so full of personal joy, when I often suffer from personal disappointment. While I have learned, through life, not to have expectations of others, I do have very high expectations for myself. Very good on one hand, because when I accomplish a goal, I feel great. Bad, on the other hand, because I do find myself being disappointed quite frequently. Allow me give you a few examples. I was laid off from a wonderful job a few years back. While I understand there is a gift in everything, however, losing the job was huge blow to my ego, and quite a life lesson. While a young child to raise, and a life to lead, I set out to find a new job; a new career. Well, little did I know I was in for yet another life lesson. After many months of applying and interviewing for over 400 jobs, I decided I needed to return to school, and expand my education. While I was disappointed in not being able to find a job, I am nearly done with my “second time around” college experience, and a have a new skill set to add to my degree. Another example is similar to my job search, but it has to do with finding someone to share my life with. I have been divorced for ten and a half years. While I am really happy in life, it wasn’t always that way. For many years, and even sometimes these days, I hoped and prayed for a new love in my life. While I have dated and have had a few serious relationships, since my divorce, I am still a single person. While I long to be in a committed relationship, and I am often disappointed that I am single, I know that I am where I need to be right now. The past decade has allowed me to discover who I am, the real Pink, and it has also allowed me to be the best mom that I can be to my daughter. I may not have been able to be the person I am today, if it weren’t for being single for the past years. Lastly, my weight always seems to be an issue for me. The numbers on the scale go up and down. When I am up, I am so disgusted with myself, and I work really hard to get the numbers down, and then when the numbers are down, they always seem to creep back up, finding me disappointed with myself. I know that life is all about peaks and valleys. I also know that life is not about what we are dealt in life, rather, it is about how we deal with what we are dealt. I keep my chin up, and smile, because I know that, one day, I will have the job of my dreams, I will be dating my soul mate, and I will okay with my weight, whatever that number may be!

Today’s activity: disappointment

By definition:  to fail to fulfill the expectations

Today I encourage you to look inside of you, and identify the areas of your life that have caused you disappointment. While this may be a painful or tough exercise, it is really a personal exercise that should be addressed. While suffering from personal disappointment, from time to time, may seem like a bad or negative thing, it is not. Rather, acknowledging personal disappointment means that you have set personal goals or expectations for yourself, and perhaps you have come a little short on seeing the finish line. Falling a bit short on our expectations is just fine, because we are all human. Falling short on our personal expectations just means we have to work a little harder, and try to hit that finish line a second, third, or fourth time. Falling short on our personal expectations only means that we will celebrate our personal accomplishments a little bit bigger, a little bit louder, a little bit more often!

on buying back the past...

As an adult, have you ever thought about an article of your past, or a really good memory, that you’d like to have back? Something that really makes you smile when you think about it, or holds a fond memory of perhaps a special person or special event in your life? Perhaps you got rid of this certain article because you thought it no longer had any special meaning to you. Perhaps this item was given to a friend. Perhaps it went in to the trash. Or perhaps it was lost in a person tragedy, such as a fire, or a flood. As for the item, maybe it is a record album that brings back memories of your youth. Maybe it’s a map or postcard from a favorite vacation spot. Maybe it’s a movie poster from your all time favorite movie. Wherever it is, and whatever this article is, it is no longer with you, but you think of it often.  For me, it was two things. The first, a set of chalk pastels, a beautiful set of chalk pastels. The pastels were given to me, by my mom, the Christmas before she past away, back in 1987. While I never got rid of the pastels, they seemed to have fallen out of my sight for many years. Between marriage, and moving, and child birth, and life, the pastels seemed to have gotten packed away with many of my other art supplies. A few years back, I began to think about my pastels, and how much they meant to me, mostly because they were given to me by my mom. As I think Ive mentioned many times, my mom was an amazing lady, and I know she truly believed in me, and I believe she still does. When I began to think about the pastels, I became obsessed with finding them. Well, low and behold, the pastels have been located, and I just love having them back in my life. I proudly display them in my room, on my art center. They are a constant reminder to me of my mom, her love and belief in me, and a reminder to me about my art, my love for it, and how I need to be creative every day. The second item is a felt tip pen. Sounds silly I know, but I happen to fall in love with writing with these pens, when I worked in a Communications firm many years ago. I loved the pens, and when I left the firm, I left the pens behind. For years, I mean years, I searched for these pens, always coming up empty handed. It wasn’t until recently, like a month ago, that I was able to find the pens, thanks to Google! As it turns out, the pen company had been bought out, and changed names. After a search, and a $13.00 purchase, the pens are back in my life, and I could not be happier…good old NIJI Stylist pens…love them, and so happy to have them back!  

Today’s activity: buying back a piece of  your past

Today I encourage you to think about, and perhaps, buy back a piece of your past. As you have read from my examples, the items do not have to be large, or expensive, but they do have some special meaning in your life. Once you think about it, or maybe you’ve thought about this item for years, I invite you to devise a plan to get the item back. Perhaps you’ll have to do a Google search, or perhaps you’ll have to visit second hand or antique stores to locate your item, but trust me, it is out there! The more difficult it is to find the item, the more you will appreciate it when it returns into your world. This adventure is not about acquiring a material object back into your life, it is about bringing back a fond memory for you. Helping you recall some part of your past, which help to mold you into the amazing being that you are today. Have fun with it, and don’t give up. Just life my pastels and pens, if it exists, it can be yours…again!

on baby steps....

So you have a task you’d like to complete, you devise a plan, and you set a goal, and PRESTO…you want the goal achieved, done, and crossed off of your list, right? Yeah, ha~ha~ha…too bad life does not happen the way WE think it should! What it takes to reach our many, many, many goals in life are…baby steps, little itsy bitsy baby steps…lots of them! Yes, I know, it is kind of a drag to wait to work and see our goal through, but that is just the way it is. It goes back to that personal patience thing, and if you are anything life me, I have no, or very little, patience for myself. I am, however, learning that as I get a little older, and I get a little wiser, I can wait to see things through, and I appreciate hitting the goal so much more, when I had to work for the prize. A story that always comes to mind for me, is a personal accomplishment I took on last year. Two cousins of mine, and myself, decided to walk the 39.3 mile Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. My cousins, who are much younger than I am, had completed the walk a few years prior, so they knew what a commitment the walk was. Doing the walk had been a personal goal for me, for many years, so what was I waiting for. So, the heavy duty fundraising was complete, and the training had been done, all that was left was to walk. Two days of intense walking was ahead of me, but come hell or high water I was going to see this through. The walk was more difficult than I had ever imagined, and I don’t think all of the training could have prepared me for what I went through. At mile 15 I was advised, by medical personal, to stop walking. Why you might ask….because I had blisters under my toe nails, and inevitably my nails were going to fall off! Then at mile 26.2, end of day one, I suffered from dehydration, and the physician who treated me, also advised me to stop walking. But did I stop….HECK NO! I signed up for this, and I was going to see it through. This adventure was, by far, one of the most difficult things I have ever done in my life, physically more difficult for me than child birth! But when mile 39.3 mile approached, and I saw my beautiful daughter, as well as, many of my family members at the finish line cheering the “Save Pink” team on, I felt so complete and accomplished! My eyes are tearing up just thinking about it right now! This experience is one I will NEVER forget. A few days later I was telling a work acquaintance about my experience and she looked to me and said…”see Michelle, this should teach you that ANYTHING in life is possible, and it takes is baby steps”! That statement hit home for me, baby steps, that’s all I need to take. In the case of the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer…baby steps, and LOTS of them!!!

Today’s activity: baby steps

Today I encourage you to take a look at your list of personal goals, those that are still on your list, as well as, those you may have abandoned half way through. Where are you in the goal to finish line process, and why did you abandon some half way through?....loss of personal patience perhaps?!?! Well I am here to tell you, don’t give up, DON’T EVER GIVE UP!  Reevaluate where you are in the process, and get back on the band wagon. Hitting a finish line can be a long, agonizing process, but as you begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and you begin to see the fan fair at the end of the line, you will be rejuvenated to get your butt in gear and see that goal through. Perhaps you set some New Year goals, that you need to revisit. We are about ¼ of the way done with 2011, where are you in your goal process? Are you on track, or have you given up? Perhaps you set goals on a regular process, but for some reason you have fallen off the path. Whatever the case may be, I advise you, please don’t ever give up. Rather put on those walking shoes, get back on that walking track, and start taking those steps, those BABY STEPS, to the finish line!!!! 

on dance...

When we the last time you danced? I mean really busted a move, or struck a pose?  Hours, days, weeks, months, years? Oh, let me guess,  you only dance at weddings. Oh, I get it, you are one of those people who…”don’t dance”! Well sista, let me tell you, you gonna dance! Dancing is such an amazing way to celebrate life. There is no good or bad dancing, just movement. As you know, dancing comes in all shapes and sizes; salsa, tango, fox trot, waltz, break, or heck, even polka dancing, just to name a few. Dancing, the movement, gets all kinds of good things going in the body. Dancing raises the heart rate, and is a great form of cardio exercise. Even if great movement is not achieved, just the mere act of getting your groove on, is invigorating and refreshing. Dancing makes me happy, and it gives me energy. This is one of the reasons why television shows like Dancing With the Stars is so popular. People love to dance, and people love to watch other people dance as well. I may have mentioned in the past, that when my daughter was younger, she and I used to dance on our cocktail table? Ok, not such a conventional way to shake your groove thang, but what fun we had! At first my daughter thought it was so wrong for us to be standing on furniture, but then all I’d have to do is put on some uplifting dance music, and she knew to hop up on the table. Oh what fun we had, and what a great memory! Even if your movement is limited, due to aches, pains or injury, get even a small part of your body moving to your favorite beat. Dance while cooking, or cleaning, or driving, just be careful and be sure to pay attention to the road! Another one of my favorite dancing activities is when I am house cleaning. Ive been known to bust into dance while holding my feather duster! The feather duster often becomes my microphone, because after all, every good dancer needs a mike to sing along! Have I divulged too many of my dance secrets? I think NOT! The point of this lesson…dance, dance, dance!

Today’s activity: dance

By definition:  to move the feet or body rhythmically, especially to music

Today I encourage you to dance! Be creative with it and have fun. Let’s say you are sitting at your desk, working, and listening to music, and one of your favorite songs comes on. What are you gonna do?...sit there like a lump on a log or get your body movin? That’s right, you know it, you are gonna MOVE! Get that energy flowing, snap those fingers, and heck, clap those hands. If your boss pokes his/her head out from their office, have no fear, they are just wondering what all the fun is about! Seriously, try to incorporate some dance into your life. If you happen to be a caretaker, don’t hesitate to add it little dance into the life of the person you are caring for. Again, even if one has limited movement, little movement can make all of the difference in the world. If you are a person who has longed to dance like a famous ballroom dancer, what is stopping you from taking a dance class? Life is here, right now, so….get up and shake that thang!

on fabulous....

When was the last time you looked in the mirror, I mean really looked in the mirror, and said….”I LOOK FABULOUS”? Okay, have you ever looked in the mirror, and said…”I look fabulous”?  It’s unfortunate, but I bet a lot of us have never looked or felt fabulous. So moving right along, if you have never thought you’ve looked fabulous or felt fabulous, how do you expect the rest of the world to think YOU ARE fabulous? Because I am here to tell you….YOU ARE FABULOUS! Each of us, in our own unique way, are fabulous. We are amazing individuals! We are all the same, but simultaneously we are all very unique. We each have skills, traits, and talents which make us amazing individuals. Each of us have been put on this earth to use our talents to the fullest of our ability. What makes the world go around is the fact that we can combine our individuality with others, and create an amazing life. The hairy part of all of this, is that many of us, myself included, don’t often think we are fabulous, or have anything worthwhile to contribute to the rest of the world. Rather than just “doing” and “being” and “trusting”, we get caught up in “thinking” that we are not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, and the list goes on. What if, just for a moment, you/me/we imagined living and being exactly who we are…living in the moment, and being true ourselves. Imagine actively working in your passion, and being in your personal “zone” not caring what the rest of the world might think of us. WOW!!!! Doesn’t that feel great?!? Think of all of the goals you are accomplishing while in your zone, and think of all of the butts you are kicking!  That is the type of fabulous that I want all of to have. I mean, we all “have” it, we just need to put it to good use.  So get ready to have fun, because you my darling…are FABULOUS!

Today’s activity: fabulous

By definition: almost impossible to believe; incredible

Today I encourage you to be, to act FABULOUS, because you are! I want you to begin by looking in the mirror, I mean really looking in the mirror, and telling yourself “I LOOK AND I AM FABULOUS”! This might be a little difficult, but just force yourself to do it. Once task one has been crossed off of your list, I encourage you to live this day being fabulous. Add your passion and love to each task or job that you complete today. Even if today you are only running errands, or going to the market, do it with passion, and be fabulous. Know that what you do each and every day contributes to the rest of the world, and without you, the world would be a little less brighter, and a little more dull. Whenever possible, get into your “zone” and rock this world. You know when you are in your zone, because you could care less what the rest of the world thinks, and you are having the time of your life! The more you do it, the easier it will become, and the more fun you will have. Go, do, be! So let’s get started….Mirror, mirror on the wall, who by far, is the most FABULOUS of all??? xo

on fresh....

It was just a few months back when I blogged about the Winter blues. In the blog I referred to the time when the market, or florists, would have Spring blooms for sale, and I would be the first one to buy them up! Well guess what my friends, the SPRING BLOOMS HAVE SPRUNG! Yes, they are available for purchase. Tulips, daffodils, iris’s oh my! I try to have fresh flowers in my home all of the time. I really enjoy them, and like the name says, they seem to add a bit of “freshness” to my home. I have been purchasing the flowers of this season over the past few weeks, and in my opinion, they are so beautiful. Much like a burning candle, fresh flowers add a sense of warm, and homey-ness to a home. I believe it says “someone lives here, and they care about their space”.  My all time favorite Spring flowers are tulips. I just love, love, love them! I love the variety of colors, and species. While I don’t live in Holland, or Holland, Michigan for that matter, I have found that my local grocer carries a great variety of tulips, at a reasonable price. I think it is great that these days, fresh flowers are affordable. I can recall a time in my past, when flowers were a luxury, and rarely did people have flowers in their homes, unless it was a very special occasion. While I do still think fresh flowers can be a bit of a luxury, I also think that life is a special occasion, and life needs to be celebrated every day! Besides the colors, what I love about a tulip, is that they continue to grow in water, even after they have been cut from the bulb. This is something my mom taught me when I was about eleven. Tulips are the only fresh flower, or cut flower, that will continue to grow in water. One of my favorite things to do, is to arrange tulips in a favorite vase. I typically cut the stems very short to start, and as the days go on, the stems grow and grow and grow. It truly is amazing to me, and enjoy watching the growth process! It is also very important to select the perfect vase, and create an interesting arrangement with fresh flowers. I rarely, ok never, take flowers from a sleeve, and directly insert them into a vase. For me, a lot of tweeking must take place; trimming, arranging, and placing. In other words, much life everything else, I treat my fresh flower with tender loving care!

Today’s activity: go fresh or go home!

Today I encourage to take a few bucks and treat yourself to fresh flowers. You may feel that you don’t deserve fresh flowers, or the old saying…”why should I buy them, they are just going to die in a few days”. I am here to tell you, the amount of joy and happiness that you will receive from having the flowers in your home is priceless!!!  I will guarantee you that every time you look at the flowers you will smile, and you will take pride in the arrangement and placement of the flowers. Perhaps you buy a bunch of tulips, and if you’ve never noticed before, watch them grow over the course of a week. Perhaps you buy a variety bunch, and place them on your bedside table. This way, the flowers are the first things you see in the morning, and the last things you see at night. The flowers may remind you of the color and joys of life. The little things in nature, that add so much enlightenment and cheer to our worlds. If you are anything like me, once you have fresh flowers in your home, you will become addicted, and you will soon be budgeting those flowers into your daily life!

on cave space...

Ever feel the need to crawl under a rock and stay there for a few hundred years?! Ever feel like you’d like to run away? Ever feel like you like to turn the rest of the world off? Oh, I do…about three times a month! And to be honest, I think this behavior is completely healthy and normal! My job is one where I work with the public, and often have to be “on”, if you will. It requires a ton of energy, positive mental attitude, focus, and patience. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job, but it can be exhausting. In addition, you know I am a single parent of a teen ager, I am a student, and I have life to deal with. These, I am sure, are many of the things that all of you deal with in your life, plus much more. For me, I need the quiet time to recoup, reenergize, and rejuvenate. I like to call my quiet time, “crawling into my cave”! I often crawl into my cave after a long week of work. When I have a couple of days off without commitment, and when I know my daughter will be busy in her life, I take the opportunity to crawl into my cave. My cave is wonderful. Ok, so my cave is pretty much my home, but I do think it is wonderful. During cave time, I take the opportunity to do as much or as little as possible. Sometimes I veg on the sofa, watching a movie, which will inevitably lead to a nap! I catch up on my reading, writing, and I love to catch up on my art. I often will not leave my home, or talk to anyone, besides my daughter, for a day or two at a time. This may all sound very selfish and anti-social, but I must admit to you….IT IS WONDERFUL! By the time that my “cave time” is over, I feel completely renewed and refreshed. I am ready to take on the world, and I am happy, healthy, and cheerful to do so. I believe in balance in my life, and I listen to my inner being. I know when I need quiet time, just as I know when I want to spend time with my daughter, family, or friends. I know I need this, and I know it makes my world go around. “Cave time” has become one of my most favorite things to do in my life, and I would not trade it for the world!

Today’s activity: cave time

Today I encourage you to carve out some cave time for you. If you cant give you an entire day or weekend, start small…an hour or two. Gravitate to some quiet space, perhaps your home, or your bedroom. Read, watch a movie, write, create some art, or take part in any activity that you love, but never seem to have enough time in life to engage in. Make a real effort to not speak to the rest of the world, or even leave your cave space. The purpose of this exercise is to rejuvenate in the peace and quiet of your home, doing something you love, (perhaps a passion), without any stress or interruptions. Once your cave time is over, and it always seems to come to an end, and you have to take on the rest of the world, you are going to feel AMAZING! If you find this exercise to be a bit of a challenge, give it a try or two before you throw in the towel. Really trust me on this one…before you know it, you will be carving our cave time on a regular basis! Shhhh, don’t let the rest of the world know where you are!

on tragedy...

With the recent happenings in Japan, earthquake and tsunami, I am feeling really bad for the people of Japan. I wonder how and where they will begin to pick up the pieces of their lives. Tens of thousands of innocent lives lost, not to mention all of the physical damage. It will take years upon years, and billions and billions of dollars to repair the country. But the not so funny reality of it is, the country will never be fully repaired, to the state in which it was, just days ago. As a compassionate human, I have been thinking about the people of the country for the past several days. The children who have lost their parents, and the parents who have lost their children. The friends who have been lost, and the family members who will never see each other again. The delivery men and women, the clerks at the market, or the medical personal, who have all lost their lives. The really sad thing is, that it normally takes a catastrophic event such as this one, to bring people together. I think for a moment about my life. I go about my day, often taking for granted the people I run into on a daily basis; the gas station clerk, the people I interact with at work, to even some of my family members and friends. Then a tragedy hits, and I feel as though my world is crumbling. At that time, I see and talk to people who I may not have seen for many years, and somehow, my faith and belief also seems to grow when tragedy hits. It is at the time of tragedy that my heart seems to open the most, and my love for humanity and God seems to be at an all time high. But why do I, and many other people, have to wait until tragedy hits before we extend our love to each and every person we encounter every day? Shouldn’t we go through live, each and every day, spreading out love for each other, and not taking life for granted? Think for a moment about the people of Japan. All of the death and destruction, but now people have come together more than ever before. Just last week, people walked past each other without even making eye contact with one another, but today, just four days later, they are bonding, and gravitating to each other, looking for help, hope, and love. While the tragedy on the other side of the world has destroyed so very much, I now believe, this same tragedy will bring so many together. In addition, this horrible tragedy will now change the lives of so many people who survived. I would be my life, that they will never take life for granted as they may have in the past. My thoughts and prayers are with the people of Japan, and their family and friends close by.

Today’s activity: life

Today I encourage you to NOT take life for granted. Try not to let a tragedy in your life, or in the world, motivate you to greet and smile at every person you come into contact with. From greeting the clerk at the market, so saying I LOVE YOU to your loved ones, try and make the most of your day and life. In knowing that tragedy brings us closer together, be close before tragedy hits. We all need each other, and God has put us on this earth to connect, discovery, and be happy. We need to do more of that with one another, and less attitude and ignorance. One of my personal favorite sayings is: “I’m a lover, not a fighter”. I do try and practice that, but sometimes it is easier said than done!

on laughter...

When was the last time you laughed so hard, you nearly peep’d your pants? For me, this can pretty much happen on a daily basis! Amongst other things, I LOVE TO LAUGH! In the past, when my life was a bit bumpy and lumpy, I used to say: “If I didn’t laugh, I would cry”. The reality of it is, I think I equally cried and laughed! The good thing is that these days, I laugh a lot! I often look in the mirror and take inventory of all of the wrinkles I have on my face. I contribute these wrinkles to three things: too much sun in my younger years, too much crying in my 20’s and 30’s, and way too much laughing throughout my entire life! When I think about my reasons for wrinkles, Im not upset or bugged about them, (most days), because I love that I laugh loud, and proud each and every day of my life! Besides a pretty jovial sense of humor, I feel laughter is therapy. In addition, laughter is much less expensive than therapy! Whether it be a joke, a good story, or just laughing at myself, I probably laugh about 50% of my day, and the other half Im typically smiling! Plus Im sure you’ve heard the info that states laughing and smiling requires the use of fewer muscles than frowning, so why NOT laugh, it’s easier?!? Once of my Aunts used to tell this little jingle. While it was designed for a smile, I think it works equally as well for laughing. Here I go: “Smile a while, and while you smile another smile, and soon there are miles and miles and miles of smiles because you’ve smiled”! Ok, if that jingle does not make you laugh, I don’t know what will! The reality of it is, laughing is contagious, so once you begin to laugh, the world will laugh with you!

Today’s activity: laugh

By definition: to express mirth, derision, etc. with inarticulate sounds and facial or bodily movements

Today I encourage you to laugh…A LOT! Whether you have to buy a book of jokes, or find a class clown, start laughing, and start laughing NOW! You may find some odd feelings take place. For example, your face my hurt, from smiling and laughing. Your ribs may hurt, from smiling and laughing. Or, your eyes may water or tear, from smiling and laughing! All of this smiling and laughing is completely therapeutic, and so, so good for the soul. Just try it, for today, and then keep it going for a few days, which will turn into laughing every day. Laughter is joyful spirit to the heart, and can you give me any reason, any reason at all why you would not want to have a happy heart? I thought NOT! Here we go….Knock, knock. Who’s there?......hahahahahahahah!!!

On "Once upon a time..."

When was the last time you read a story that began: “Once upon a time…”? Or better yet, when was  the last time you wrote a story that began: “Once upon a time…”? If you are like me, it has been some time. If you think about a “Once upon a time…” story it usually begins with a fairy prince or princess, and ends with: “…And they lived happily ever after. The end.”  Oh, and there is lots of good, happy stuff in the middle. These short stories, which are often told to children, are typically happy stories, designed and told to cheer the soul and spirit of the little loves in our lives. These stories are an opportunity to have the main character be as happy, as handsome or beautiful, and as successful as we want. So, why do these just have to be stories? Why not take our short story, and make it a wonderful little story about our lives? It might be fantasy, or it might be reality, or it might even be a fantasy that we want to make reality! Whatever the case, it can be your story, that’s YOUR STORY, and all about you! So what comes to mind, when I say you can write a story about yourself? If it is something like….”that’s crazy, I don’t have enough information, talent , or life experiences to tell a story about me”. And guess what I am going to say?....”That’s crazy!!!! You have all you need to write and tell a beautiful story about you…just the way you are today”! My story, well today, I may write a little fantasy story about me being a back up singer for a famous musician. ‘Im dressed in a red sequence dress, with my hair in a beehive, sporting red hot lipstick, and having the time of my life!

Today’s activity: write a story

Today I encourage you to write a story about YOU. Put pen to paper, and finger to keys, and write. Begin the story with: “Once upon a time…” and then allow your mind to wander for a few minutes, for an hour, or even a day. Decide if you want to write the story about your life, just as you are, or the life you really want to lead. This can be super fun, cause maybe you’ll even portray yourself as a super hero! Be as general as you’d like at the beginning, but then go back, and tighten things up a bit. Make it as real, and  authentic as possible, after all, you are telling YOUR story. Don’t get wrapped up in details, grammar, and rights and wrongs, just have fun with it. This exercise is designed to let your inner god or goddess come out, and nobody is going to judge you. Now get that Mont Blanc in hand, and begin: “Once upon a time…” Oh, and by all means, don’t forget: “the end”!

on physical being...

Today we are going to talk about our physical being; our bodies. If you are like me, you cringe when I mention this, but let’s face it, we gotta face who we are! My physical body is something that I struggle with each and every day. I love who I am, but I often don’t like what I look like; the size of my jeans, the jiggle of my thighs, my double chin, and the list can go on! But the fact of the matter is, each and every one of us was created out of love, therefore, we need to love who we are! I realize in a society where thinner is better, and skinny jeans are “in”, it is hard to love ourselves. But I am a firm believer, that if something is difficult or a challenge to accept, then it is all worth it. I know, for me, that for as many things that I don’t like about me, there are twice as many physical attributes that I love about me; my smile just one of them! We need to focus on what is good about us, and put less attention or stress on what we dislike about ourselves. Another example is that after I take a shower or bath, I apply lotion to my arms and legs. While applying the lotion, I have moved my focus from the size of my thighs to the softness of my skin. I then realize that I need to maintain my habit or routine of applying the lotion, because having soft skin helps me to feel more feminine and love myself more. Another example are my hands. While I don’t think my hands are particularly model like, I do love my hands because they are able to create, type, write, and engage in the human touch. All of these qualities are very important to me. We are not being fair to ourselves or serving justice if we try to separate our minds from our bodies. We need to love who we are, and cherish each and every curve, one inch at a time!

Today’s activity: love who you are…the physical you

Today in encourage you to love YOU….the real, physical you. I know that we often chat about what is inside of us, but I don’t think it would be fair to our bodies if we neglected our physical beings. As I mentioned above, we were all created out of love and we need to LOVE WHO WE ARE. Today take inventory of the physical attributes that  you like about you, and be thankful for each of them. Turn your focus away from what you don’t like about your body, and give a little more love to what you do love. Invent an exercise, or ritual, to love yourself. Whether it be getting a massage, or applying lotion to your legs after your shower, take the time to feel the softness of your skin. Or take the time to look, I mean really LOOK at your beautiful smile. After a little bit of practice of acceptance and letting your guard down, you will be amazed at the love you develop for the person who is staring right back at you in the mirror! Go, do, be, smile! xo

on silence...

Silence is the art of being quiet. The art of keeping your mouth closed when you may want to offer your .02 cents, or your opinion, whether it is requested or not. Silence can be a very difficult task, because by human nature, we all have an opinion, and we want to share it with the world! Welp, today we are going to try and be quiet, and just be. Im not saying that you should turn the world off, and become an introvert, rather I am saying, speak wisely. Of course most of us have to talk to chat to complete our jobs, or communicate with our family, or be a parent, or spouse. The kind of silence I am talking about is the unneeded chatter that we all are guilty of each and every day. Rather than chatter, I challenge you to take the outer chit chat inward, and be at peace with yourself. Capture the moments of silence throughout your day, and cherish the silence. Being quiet is a VERY DIFFICULT task, but once you train your mind and soul to be quiet, the peace is something you’ll long for throughout your day…..shhh, silence is golden.

Today’s activity: silence

By definition: quiet; to be quiet

Today I encourage you to be quiet, or in silence, and just be. Look for mini opportunities throughout your day to KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! Rather than engage in useless chat, open your heart and mind to your inner voice. Listen to it, and who knows….you might even learn something about yourself. Perhaps you start your day with meditation, well, think of the periods of silence throughout your life, as mini mediation sessions. They are times to regroup yourself, perhaps take a deep breath, clear your mind, and recharge your inner battery. As I mentioned about, being quiet is an art, and it may take some time to incorporate into  your life. Trust me, once you have mastered this art, you will search for, and make a priority silence in your life!

on tolerance...

Today we are going to chat about tolerance. Each day we tolerate people or situations that we may or may not agree with. Im even sure that from time to time, when we tolerate something we do not agree with, we end up having a pit or nasty feeling within our stomachs. Along those same lines, if we continue to tolerate situations, people, or things that we do not agree with, tolerating them often becomes easier, even though the situation may not be right. Tolerance is a tricky thing. For me, personally, I know that I have tolerated situations or people because I was afraid of facing the person, or the truth. It may have been easier for me to keep my mouth shut, rather than face the matter head on. Funny thing is, in the end, I always tend to feel lousy. I feel like I have been eaten alive, from the inside out. Well, have no fear, I think I have a plan to deal with tolerating people or things without creating drama, or hurting feelings, or worse yet, hurting oneself. To get started, we need to realize that people generally don’t hurt other people on purpose. Telling a lie, hurting feelings, or stimulating negative emotions are typically reactions generated out of fear. Someone may tell a lie because he or she may be afraid to tell or deal with the truth. With that being said, it may be easier for us to understand why someone may lie, or be hurtful. On the flip side, we have every right to protect ourselves, and our inner gears from being hurt. We have the right to know that someone has hurt you, but we don’t have to deal with or TOLERATE the negative behavior. We have the right to make amends with the person at hand, but then we can move on from this person, or situation, so further hurt does not take place. Yup, it is that simple. Know or try to understand where this person is coming from, but also know that you have the right to protect yourself, and remove yourself from the matter. This way, no grudges or angry feelings are cultivated and allowed to manifest.

Today’s activity: tolerance

By definition: permissive; accepting beliefs or ideals of others

Today I encourage you to open your heart, mind, and eyes to the tolerance that you put accept from others. These situations may be good or they may be not so good, but they are what they are, just for today, take note of them. Then, over the next couple of days, try and pinpoint the situations are not so favorable to you, and see how you may be tolerating someone or something that goes against your personal moral or value system. These are the situations you need to decide whether you want to stay within or move on. Whatever your choice is, try and come to turns with why you have been tolerating this person or matter, and offer forgiveness. Know that if you walk away from the matter, you will not hold a grudge or be anger. Know that you have to take care of yourself, and know that even if you feel uneasy about the situation today, over time, you will feel better, because you remained true to yourself and chose not to tolerate a poisonous situations. Know that you in any situation, you must….TAKE CARE OF YOU, and everything will be alright!

on judging...

Today I am going to spend of a bit of time on judgment or judging others. I know each of us judge, when we want to admit it or not, or whether we are conscious of it or not. We might have an opinion, or judgment, on the clothing that someone is wearing, or a hairstyle, or even more critical, we may have an opinion on how someone is living their life. Whatever the case, we judge. When I was younger, let's say in my mid to late twenties, I was a huge judger! I, honestly, dont even think I was aware of how I judged people. At the time, I thought I was happily  married, had a child, and a townhouse. I was working in the design field, and I thought my life was pretty great. I cant say that I ever thought I was better than anyone else, but I did not hold back offering my opinion on situations and things. Then something happened, the bottom fell out of my life...I was getting divorced, moving out, and the man who I was married to, the one who I thought was the end-all, be-all, turned out to be the biggest liar of them all! I was embarrassed, scared, and humiliated all in one! It was at that time that I learned....dont judge. Much like karma, judgment came back to bite me in the ass, and now I had to deal with things. I was certainly humbled by the experiences of my life, and unfortunately for me, I had to break the habit of judging people, places, events, and things. But really, in retrospect, was it really so unfortunate that I had to break this horrible habit? NO...NOT AT ALL! Breaking my habit of judgment was one of the best things in life I could have ever done. Breaking this habit, has allowed me to humble myself, appreciate my life, and be more empathetic towards the life of others. People do things for different reasons. Sometimes they are scared, and feel they have no choices or outlets. Sometimes they do not have their eyes open to any given situation, and are not seeing clearly, or sometimes they are just plain okay with the situation at hand, and dont care or desire to change it. Whatever the case, it is their story, and who am I to judge it?!? Lucky for me, I think I have been pretty successful at calming the tides of judgment. Dont get me wrong, I still have my opinions, but everybody is entitled to an opinion. I think the difference is, I am more tolerant of peoples lives and stories, and I know, in their heart, they are doing the best that they can do in the moment!

Today's activity: break the barrier...don't judge!
By definition: perception; to be critical or non-critical of one's perception

Today I encourage you to break a personal barrier that you may have, and DON'T JUDGE. I know this task may be difficult, or not so difficult, for you to handle...but just take baby steps. When you feel the urge to judge the clothing that someone is wearing, STOP, and say to yourself..."Im not going to judge. When you feel the need to judge someone's actions, STOP, and say to yourself..."Who am I to judge?" In reality, it is probably going to take a few weeks to break this barrier, but it will all be worth it. In the end, you will feel lighter, and more free. You will know, in your heart, that everyone has a story, and who am I, you, me, us to judge? We each have our own stories, and we do not need to burden ourselves with additional weight on our shoulders....leave the judgment to our Higher Power! Go, do, be, and DON'T judge! xo